


To Be Alone With You

by CalinJasper



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, L is touch-starved, Light is touch-starved, M/M, Mutual Pining, They're both emotionally repressed, Touch-Starved, Yotsuba Arc, there isn't enough LawLight fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalinJasper/pseuds/CalinJasper
Summary: In the time they spend chained together L and Light grow closer to each other than anyone ever has, all while maintaining the facade that nothing has happened between them.





	1. Words Hung Above

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another fanfiction that has taken me multiple weeks to write and was mostly written between 10:00pm and 2:00am. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr @calinjasper

Tonight was not a good night for L.

On the surface, nothing seemed out of the ordinary: as always, he and Light were working late into the night reviewing the backgrounds of each Yotsuba employee, ensuring that nothing of importance was missed. More than 300,000 people, from the CEO to the janitors, were suspects that had to be reviewed and the sheer scale of it all had L feeling a little drained. While he was glad that this new lead had shaken him from his depression, it came the cost of him feeling once again overwhelmed.

Currently, that feeling was manifesting in the form of a vicious headache, causing him to fall behind Light in efficiency. No, that wouldn’t do at all, so despite the pounding behind his eyes and his inability to focus L continued to work.

“Ryuzaki, what’s wrong?” Light asks, pulling him out of his haze.

“What do you mean “what’s wrong”? I assure you I’m fine” he retorts. Light scoffs at that.

“I think I’ve been around you long enough to know that isn’t true. You may not realize but in the months we’ve been chained together I’ve picked up on more of your quirks.” Clearly, the act that L had been putting up hadn’t been convincing enough.

He turns his head to face Light, who’s face displays something between concern and satisfaction. “Is that so? Then tell me Light, what exactly is giving you the impression that I am anything but fine?”

“Well, to start: you’ve been staring at that page for at least four minutes, whereas it usually takes you less than two minutes to read a page.”

“Perhaps something caught my attention and I was looking at something more closely. Did you ever think of that, Light?”

“Of course I did, but when you’re focusing on something intently your eyebrows furrow and you squint your eyes. You were just staring off into space this time, so I know it wasn’t something worth looking at for that long. From that, I can safely say that something is bothering you” he concluded.

L didn’t know what he hated more: the smug look on his face or the fact that he was able to read him so easily.

“It’s concerning how well you can read me, Light. In fact, your Kira percentage may have just been raised.” Light seemed miffed at the remark but L continued before he could respond. “The point is, you’re correct. I have a headache and it’s quite an awful one.”

“Well, I’m sure that your usual habits aren’t helping that fact. You haven’t slept in days, you’ve eaten nothing of substantial nutritional value, and you’re probably dehydrated from all the coffee you drink. I’m surprised you don’t get headaches more often.”

“No, it’s not that. The idea of going through all of these employees has me overwhelmed. We’ve been at this for a week and we still have more than 200,000 people left to review.”

A few moments of tense silence passed between the two until Light stood up and walked over to the detective’s chair. “I think it’s time you take a break, Ryuzaki. You’ve been working nonstop for a while.”

“I’ll be fine for a little longer” L asserted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just…”

L’s statement faltered and Light looked at him quizzically. In a moment of uncharacteristic weakness, L decided to pose a question. “Light, do you think you could do me a favor?”

“What is it?” Light asked slowly.

Wordlessly, L grabbed Light’s hands, guiding them to the sides of his head and into his hair. Light was alarmed by the action, but he regained some composure when he realized what L was asking him to do. No further instruction needed, he started running his hands through L’s hair, fingers twirling in the surprisingly soft strands as he made small circles behind his ears. He pushed his hands through L’s hair to lightly scratch at the base of his head before pulling his fingers away, then quickly threading them back through his bangs and pushing them away from his forehead.

L let out a shaky exhale as Light continued to massage his scalp, shivers running through his spine when his hands ran over the top of his head. Light continued to repeat the soothing, circular motions, which only made the detective’s already-disheveled hair worse. Neither said a word, they just stayed as they were, aware of the strange intimacy of the whole thing but refusing to acknowledge it.

It was Light that broke the silence first. “How long did it take you to find out that this gets rid of your headaches?”

L let out a breathy laugh. “It doesn’t get rid of them, it just helps.” He grabbed Light’s wrists, which were still running through his hair, and lowered them so that he could look up at him. “Thank you, Light.”

“I still think you need to take a break Ryuzaki, but I’m probably not going to change your mind.”

“I’m glad that you’ve at least learned that much” L smirks.

They don’t move for a few more moments; something wanting to be said hangs heavy in the air as they continue to look at each other, Light’s wrists still in L’s grasp. However, before either of them can say anything else the sound of the door opening causes them to abruptly pull away, Light taking a step back to ward off any assumptions.

“Ah, Watari” L says coolly. Indeed, the old man was walking toward them with a tray of sweets in his hands. Early on, Light had noticed a pattern in when Watari would bring L food, finding that he would often make his deliveries even into the late hours. Light had to wonder how he got enough sleep between that and constantly monitoring Kira HQ.

Watari set the tray down next to L, who responded with a quiet “thank you”. His only reply is a gentle pat on L’s shoulder and a nod towards Light before he leaves as quickly as he entered. Realizing he’s still standing, Light moved quickly to sit back down and resume working on sorting through the many files stacked on his desk.

“We’ll continue working for a little while longer if that’s alright. I guess I’ll have to relent to your annoyingly consistent sleep schedule once again” he said, then pauses to take a bite of whatever pastry he’d chosen first. “Perhaps I’ll also oblige your request for me to get some sleep as well.”

“Alright Ryuzaki, let’s see if you hold up on that statement” Light smiled.

Neither would acknowledge what had transpired between them for many days afterwards.


	2. Something So Precious About This

The Kira case was progressing at an unfortunately slow pace, but it was progressing nonetheless. Between L and Light’s near-constant working and the rest of the task force helping when they could they had decreased their suspect pool by a great deal, yet there was still an overwhelming amount of files left to read.

It was early in the morning, far too early for any reasonable person to be awake, but as usual L was still reviewing the various files of Yotsuba employees. Most could be tossed to the side quickly, clearly having nothing suspicious about them, but some required extensive digging. All of this took time, and it was not time that L could afford to waste on trivial things like sleeping. Instead, he would persevere and push himself until his body gave out just like he’d been doing since childhood.

At 4:27 AM the sun began to rise over the cityscape, and it also marked the 27th hour that L had been awake. Due to Light’s annoying habit of sleeping for a few hours every night, L had taken up a large stack of the files to bring to their shared room so that he could continue to work. However, tonight hadn’t been as productive as he’d hoped: he had spent the better half of the night discarding files he’d deemed insignificant, and the rest of it combing through seemingly interesting information that ultimately amounted to nothing. L was starting to get dismayed by the lack of progress; sure, he had eliminated a great deal of people from their potential suspects, but he also hadn’t found anything that could have propelled the case in a better direction. Things was stagnating, and L found himself becoming frustrated more and more often.

Two more hours ticked by and L had finished looking through the files he’d brought up with him. With nothing else to do, he slouched back on the bed and fully took in his surroundings for the first time in hours. Their room, once lit only by the dull blue light of his laptop, was now filling with the gentle gold of sunrise. His gaze fell to the cuff on his wrist, then followed the chain to the sleeping form on the other side of the bed. Light’s expression was one of innocence and peacefulness as rays of sunlight caught in his auburn hair, making it reflect a fiery orange in a halo around his head. If that wasn’t ironic, L didn’t know what was.

Light began to shift, signaling that he would awaken soon. Good, because at this point L was getting antsy after being confined to the vicinity of the bed with nothing left to do. He tore his eyes away from Light, not wanting to be chastised again for “watching him sleep” (L was still firm in his stance that he was only observing his unconscious habits for a short time, but Light wouldn’t have any of it).

When Light finally did wake he sat up to briefly stretch, then slumped over to rub the sleep from his eyes. It was the same exact routine every morning, and whether he meant to be or not Light was quite the creature of habit; he probably wouldn’t be happy to hear that this might slightly increased his chances of being Kira, so L kept that observation to himself.

“Good morning Ryuzaki. I see you’re still up” Light said groggily.

“How do you know that I didn’t sleep all night? I could have gone to sleep after you and woken up before you did” L retorted.

“Ryuzaki, you’ve never done that before so I can’t see you suddenly doing it now.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Light, so you have no idea whether I have or haven’t done that prior to us being chained together.”

Light let out a good-natured scoff. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that” he smiled, glancing at the detective. He stepped out of bed, being mindful of the chain’s limited range as he made his way around to the other side and dug through his clothes, deciding on what to wear for the day.

L politely averted his eyes when Light began to change. For someone who seemed so reserved and private, Light had no issue with changing in front of him; L wasn’t uncomfortable with it by any means, but it was a little unexpected.

“Ryuzaki, I need to change my shirt” Light said, pulling L out of his thoughts. Wordlessly, he fished the key from his pocket while Light extended his arm. L grabbed his wrist to get a grip on the cuff, his eyes lingering too long on Light’s fingers while he undid the lock. Ever since that night L sometimes found himself wanting to do that again, but lately there hadn’t been a good time where he could bring it up.

Light appeared not to notice L’s staring, simply reaching up to pull his sleep shirt off. “You seem quiet Ryuzaki. Is something wrong?”

“The night just wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be, that’s all” L grumbled quietly.

“You’re not getting apathetic again, are you?” Light said, a sly grin on his face. “Because if so I’m going to have to knock some sense into you again.”   
“I hope that this time you mean that figuratively and not literally.”

Light laughed at the remark as he reached for a black sweater, tugging it over his head and smoothing it so that it laid pristine over his form. The brief respite from the handcuff allowed him to massage his sore wrist, a pale pink ring marking the area where the dull metal bit into his skin.

He extended his arm again and L re-locked the cuff swiftly, but when Light began to pull away he found that L was still clutching his hand. He looked at the detective quizzically and began to say something before L cut him off.

“Light, do you remember that favor I asked of you?”

“Yeah…why do you ask?”

L finally looked up, locking eyes with Light. Usually when they made eye contact it preceded an argument, or even a fight. This time the usual intensity in L’s eyes had softened, making him look somewhat vulnerable. “Would it be alright if we did it again?”

Surprised by the question, Light doesn’t know what to say at first. That night had stuck with him in more ways than one: something unsaid hung between them, and he found himself dwelling on what had transpired more often than he’d like to admit.

L pulls his hand away sharply, thinking Light’s silence was his answer. “Forget what I said, it was—”

“Wait, no!” Light stammered. “Ryuzaki, just—hold on…”

He reached out to bury his right hand in L’s hair, making the other man freeze. L’s breathing quickened when he began to make small circles with his fingers, and he reached out to grasp at the front of Light’s sweater.

“I just didn’t know what to say, that’s all” Light finally answered.

“Well, they do say that actions speak louder than words” replied L.

Light’s hand moved to the back of L’s head, pulling him close so that he pressed his forehead into the other’s chest. Without thinking, L his arms around Light’s torso, running his hands up and down his back. The action drew a shudder from Light and he suddenly became aware of how badly L was shaking.

“Ryuzaki, are you alright?”

“M’fine” he rasped, his voice strangled and tense. Being so close made him feel light-headed and he was almost overwhelmed by the sensation of Light’s fingers dragging through his hair and down his neck. Every touch felt like electricity coursing through his skin and it only made L crave more of it.

Light moved his free hand to cup L’s face, thumb brushing against his cheek. L trembled under his touch, tightening his arms around him and continuing to slowly run his hands across the expanse of his back.

They don’t know how much longer they stayed like that; it could have been five minutes or thirty. For now, all that they can care about for now is being close to each other. L stopped shaking at some point but continued to grasp onto Light with a vice-like grip, and Light continued to delicately massage L’s scalp while running his thumb across his cheek.

The sharp ring of a phone roused them from their trance. This time they pull away slowly, eyes locked until the second ring drew their attention to the bedside table. Recognizing the phone as his, Light picked it up and answered the call.

“Hello?” he asks. A muffled voice responds. “Yeah dad, I’m fine. We just got a late start is all. We’ll be right down.” Light ends the call, shoving the phone into his pocket. “We should get going Ryuzaki, everyone else is waiting for us.”

“Right” he replies, stepping down from the bed.

Silently, they make their way out of their room and down to their workspace. No discussion is made of what happened, but both of them somehow know that it will eventually happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slow but I promise they will come eventually. Feedback is always appreciated!


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